Who's that handsome man-creature, you ask? Why, it's the one and only Senator Slender Man, of course! A lean, mean, existential fighting machine!
Senator Slender has been fighting for your rights to video distortion, childhood abduction, and pants-shitting Eldritch Abominations since 2009!
Vote Slender Democrat, 2012!
I believe this officially makes me a bad American.